mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
The air was thick with penises
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize