How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
