every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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