so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
