You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
