I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
