In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
