The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Randomize
