if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
