shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
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