is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
