So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
