Are we in a gay sports bar?
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
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