she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
