oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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