hotel room ftw
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize