You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
