She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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