i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
