Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
