Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
