I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Randomize
