HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
