They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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