i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
