Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
