Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Randomize
