if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
