No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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