So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize