Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
