All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
