my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Man, jail baloney is awful.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
