Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Still dying that you shit outside
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
