so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
