He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize