And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
my poor anus
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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