.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
