He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize