did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
