you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
