Whod you bang
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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