that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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