We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
