fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
