That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize