Your dad touched me again.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
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