Im at strip club and am horny
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Come see our sink grown plant.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
