I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
