Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
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