yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
