i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Randomize
