She's JV to your varsity
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I could fuck to npr.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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