we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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