so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
