Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
