I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
