Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Still dying that you shit outside
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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