We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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