Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize
