yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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