dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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