i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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