Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
