Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
