I wish my penis had an off switch
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
