some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize