So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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