He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
