i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
