So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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