Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
