Are we in a gay sports bar?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Help. Why am I so naked?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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